


And Then?

by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever



Category: Dude Where's My Car?, SSX Tricky
Genre: Crossover, Explicit Language, Gen, Humor, Parody, Rage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 19:20:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11019891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateWarriorFan4Ever/pseuds/UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: Luther, JP and Psymon are starving and looking for some good Chinese food to eat at. That is until Luther meets an irritating drive-thru worker. Can things get any better from here? Maybe. Maybe not.





	And Then?

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own anything associated with SSX tricky or any of its characters. SSX Tricky and it's characters are owned by Electronic Arts. Anyway, here's a nice Luther fic anyone can enjoy! So wa-la!

Luther Dwayne-Grady, his best buddy JP and their fellow (or not so fellow) contestant Psymon were busy traveling around the interstate where they saw a sign for a chinese restaurant entitled Lin's Chinese Food. Around the sign was a crimson colored dragon with a wobbly tongue. Apparently, a sign like that meant that the big gruffy biker was hankering for an appetite.

"Mmmmm, Luther loves Chinese food." Luther replied. "Can we go there?"

"Sure, I looooooove me a good meal," Psymon smirked. "Only if Mr. Frenchy here pays!"

"In your dreams," JP muttered. "There's no way I'm paying for another meal. I swear, everytime we go someplace to eat, I ended up having to pay for the whole damn thing. Can't you pay instead?"

"I would, but I stuffed my whole wallet in my butt." Psymon chuckled.

"I can't believe this..." JP said, rolling his eyes as he dug into his pockets for his wallet.

The threesome pulled up into the drive-thru where Luther rolled up his backseat window and faced the speaker head-on. However, Luther couldn't be in the front-seat because Psymon was driving his car, and because Luther lost his driver's license due to him driving drunk in his motorcycle. However, he couldn't find a reason why JP drove along with him, but it was because JP was Luther's buddy, and he wanted to stick with him no matter what.

From there, the drive-thru teller spoke. It sounded a lot more like a woman.

_"Lin's Chinese Foooood, how may I help you?"_ She said.

"Yeah, I'd like to place an order." Luther replied, "Cause I'm hungrier than a dead zombie."

_"What would you like?"_

"Three orders of your delicious orange chicken." Luther replied.

_"And then?"_

"And then three orders of chow mein." Luther replied again.

_"And then?"_

"And then..." Luther thought, before turning to the guys. "You guys want any soup?"

"Sure." Psymon and JP nodded.

"Can you also give me three orders of wonton soup?" Luther replied.

_"And then?"_

"Them some fortune cookies are good too." Luther smirked, "Can you give me those as well?"

_"And then?"_

"I think that's about it, ma'am." Luther responded, finishing his order.

_"And then?"_

"No, that's it." Luther reminded her again.

_"And then?"_

"No, that's all I want." He reminded her _yet_ again.

_"And then?"_

Luther started to feel a little bothered by her constant irritation, but he still remained calm about it.

"And then, nothing else." Luther chuckled "I'm done ordering, alright?"

_"And then?"_

Apparently, his words wasn't getting straight to her. So Luther had to explain to her again.

"No, see... all I want is the three orders of orange chicken and chow mein." Luther said.

_"And then?"_

"Don't forget the soup, man." JP whispered to Luther.

"And three orders of wonton soup." Luther replied.

_"And then?_

"Don't forget the fortune cookies too," Psymon said to Luther as well. "I wanna see if I can shove them up my butt."

"And the fortune cookies as well," Luther said to the speaker. "So it's gonna be the chicken, the rice, the soup, the fortune cookies and that'll be it."

_"And theeen?"_ The chinese woman spoke sarcastically.

"And then you can put it in a brown paper bag and come put it in my hand cause I'm ready to eat." Luther chuckled.

_"And theeeeeeeen?"_

Those two words coming from the drive-thru worker were starting to make Luther impatient and irritated now.

"I refuse to play your chinese food mind game shit!" Luther angrily exclaimed.

_"And theeeeeeeen?"_

"No and then!" Luther shook his head.

_"And then?"_

"NO AND THEN!" The big man shouted. It started going back and forth.

_"And then?"_

"NO AND THEN!"

_"And then?"_

"NO AND THEN!"

_"And then?"_

"NO AND THEN!"

_"And then?"_

"No!" Luther cried out, "No and then!"

_"And theeeeeeeen?"_

"You know you're really starting to piss me off, you little bitch!" Luther angrily cried out.

_"And theeeen?"_

"And then," Luther chuckled before he shouted at the speaker. "I'M GONNA COME RIGHT IN THERE AND I'M GONNA SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR FUCKIN' ASS IF YOU SAY "AND THEN" AGAIN!"

But then, there was finally silence for once. It was about time the Chinese lady finally shut up.

"There, that's better." Luther sighed, as if he finally won this battle.

But after a few seconds of silence...

...

...

...

_"And then, and then, and then, and then, and then!"_

From there, Luther leaped out of the backseat window and began taking out his rage on the speaker!

"THAT'S IT!" Luther shouted as he punched the drive-thru box over and over again. "I HAVE JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU YOU LITTLE BITCH! EITHER GIVE ME MY FOOD OR ELSE I'M BLOWING THIS FUCKING SHITHOLE UP! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S MURDER OR NOT, I'M NOT PUTTING UP WITH THIS 'AND THEN' SHIT AGAIN!"

Feeling that this was a bad idea, Psymon decided it was best to drive away.

"You know what, maybe this was a bad idea to drive up here." Psymon sighed, "I wonder if Burger King's any good? Maybe they got some nice Whoppers too. Maybe I'll try shoving them up my butt, just to see what it feels like.

As soon as the threesome started to drive away, Luther gave the drive-thru speaker his last words.

"THIS AIN'T OVER, YA STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!" Luther threatened at the voicebox, "WHEN I COME BACK, AND I DO, I'M BRINGIN' EXPLOSIVES AND BLOWING YOUR SORRY ASSES TO HELL! NOBODY MESSES WITH THE BIG DOG AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! YAH BABY!"

And then, they finally drove away. Despite them leaving, the Chinese lady managed to give them a few words of her own:

_"Aaaaaand theeeeeeen...?"_

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I had to add strong language to his fic, just because I wanted to.
> 
> Anyway, feedback's appreciated and don't forget to check out my stories! C-ya!


End file.
